


Our Rainbow-Colored Symphony

by PeppyLongStocking



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Alternate Universe - Music, Alternate Universe - No Miraculous, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Shigatsu wa Kimi no Uso | Your Lie in April Fusion, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Character Analysis, Character Study, Depression, F/M, One Shot, References to Depression, alternative universe, one shot au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-13
Updated: 2019-12-13
Packaged: 2021-02-25 23:29:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21783727
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PeppyLongStocking/pseuds/PeppyLongStocking
Summary: Adrien's word is grey, shaded with blacks and whites just like keys on a piano. There was little that would spark his emotions. He is often indifferent to things. He is often described as having a wishy-washy attitude.  It's been like this ever since his mother passed away. His father thought introducing him to public school would open him up.And a little each day, it did. But nothing more so than a girl name Marinette Dupain-Cheng.Inspired by "Your Lie in April."
Relationships: Adrien Agreste | Chat Noir/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 8
Kudos: 67





	Our Rainbow-Colored Symphony

Adrien hadn't expected a letter from Marinette. To be honest, he hadn't expected any letter to arrive in his mailbox that morning.

He hadn't known Marinette for long, but what little time they spent together made up by her bright and energetic personality. She was always smiling. Always full of warmth and full of life. 

It hurts to think that sort of person no longer existed in this world anymore.

It was the sort of hurt that left you lost and confused inside. The type that makes your heart heavy and empty, like it was cold and dead. But you still want to feel some type of emotion. Any emotions would do, not just happiness. Anger or sadness would be better than numbness.

He hadn't felt this awful feeling in a long time since his mother passed away. Nothing seems to go right in his life. Everyone seems to be destined to leave him behind, but that's a silly thought. Everything comes to an end at some point. That was just how things were for anyone. 

For some time, Adrien stared at the innocent parchment which was pink and faintly smelled like baked goods. He didn't know what to do with the piece of parchment, whether he should open it or not. If he was honest with himself, it is because he was afraid. This letter will be the last words he'll ever hear from Marinette and remember her by. Not her smiling face. Not the constant fire burning in her eyes as if daring him to catch up to her. Not their promise to see each other on stage. It'll be this letter. Whatever this letter may contain inside.

_I miss you._

His mind slipped. The words sent a pang through his chest, the burning pain of loss.

His eyes squeezed shut.

When Adrien learn he wasn't the only one to receive the letter, it felt less special. He chided himself thinking otherwise. Of course, Alya and Nino would receive letters from Marinette. Even Chloé got one, and they weren't exactly close friends. Although it didn't extend any further than to their close-knitted group.

And on that warm sunny day after school, the group sat at the base of Collège Françoise Dupont steps side by side - Alya, then Nino, then him, and finally Chloé on his far right. They all held out their letters out.

"We should open them together," Nino suggested, breaking the silence. Although birds could be heard tweeting about. Children scream and laugh at a nearby park. The smell of flowers wafted through the air.

It was a sign that spring had arrived. A spring without Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

"It'll make it easier." The boy in glasses tried to convince them.

Alya immediately agreed. Her letter was scrunched up and clutched close to her heart like it was something precious.

"Let's do this,” the girl determinedly said. She had remained uncharacteristically quiet and subdued out of all of them, but she was also the closest to Marinette. After all, their friendship had been instant and close. You cannot replicate a friendship like that.

Adrien merely nodded in response, his eyes locked on his own letter in hand. His heart aching a little bit more; although, the pain isn't as strong when it is shared among friends.

“Well? Go on already. Stop being a bunch of losers.” Chloé managed to roar. Her voice was a bit thickly. She crossed arms as though this can fight off the stinging in her eyes and try to sound as neutral as possible with the situation. The facade couldn’t fool him, if it even fooled Alya or Nino at all.

“Ugh, fine. I'll go first.” Chloé huffed a second later and let her frustration speak for her.

The blond girl ripped the pink envelope in her hands in quick succession; however, she was delicate with unfolding the paper inside which unrolled itself with ease.

“Dear Chloé Bourgeois,” she read out loud. “You really like doing things your way. You’re so stubborn. But even though you can be mean and insensitive, deep down you’re strong. Always holding onto your beliefs. I envy that. Maybe you don’t realize it yourself, but really, you are brave. I believe in you and I also believe you can be a good person inside if a Bourgeois sort-of-way. You are exceptional.”

Chloé smiled to herself, looking a teeny bit sad, but also proud.

“Dumb girl,” she quietly murmured.

“Alya Césaire,” the next girl softly spoke. She was more humble than Chloé when opening and reading the letter. Taking the time to smooth out the crinkles. “You are such a good person. I feel happy to be so blessed with such a wonderful friend. You are funny, confident, and down to earth. You get easily excited and let very few things get to you. I’m giving you one of my favorite pictures. It’s a picture of us on my first visit to the amusement park. Remember? You really wanted me to go to all those scary rides. You loved teasing me about them. You don’t have to keep it, but I hope you do. I’m sorry I couldn’t be totally honest with you. I didn’t want to leave a big mess behind.”

Tears form in corner of Alya’s eyes. She didn’t bother to wipe them when they began to run down her cheek and fell to the ground. When it became harder to hold it in, she began to sob.

“You are a cool and a sweet guy,” Nino said next as he drew an arm out to comfort Alya. He gently rubbed her back and continued to read his pink paper. “And so thoughtful and kind. Our days together were full of fun. I get why so many people like you. You always looking out for everyone. Please do me a favor and take care of Alya for me. She’s going to be heartbroken for a while, but I believe you are the only one who can help her.” 

No surprise, those words made Alya bawled her eyes out even more. 

Eventually, everyone turned their attention onto him. Adrien was the last to read his letter. 

The world became a little dimmer as their eyes trailed on him. Their stares began to feel like burns. Something familiar began to bubble in his throat and made him sick. He managed to fight off the nausea.

“I can’t,” he said to them in the end. His eyes averted. The shame swelling up inside him. At one point, he thought this was a good idea. He thought he could share the grief with his friends, each a little broken inside from the loss of a close friend, but that was a total lie.

He is a liar. He was still afraid. A coward.

“It’s fine, dude.” Nino gave him a reassuring yet small smile on his face. He reaching out to place a hand on his shoulder. “We totally understand. No one is pressuring you. There is no need to rush.”

It still didn’t make Adrien feel any better.

Alya sniffling in the background made it even harder.

“I’m sorry,” Adrien said afterwards. He wasn’t sure who exactly he was apologies to, them or himself. He wasn’t sure if he was just saying it just to fill the vacuum. To be polite? Without thinking, he had apologized.

Not long after, Alya and Nino left. Only Chloé and Adrien remained seated in front of their school. By then, all the students and teachers were gone. The school's large double doors were locked behind them. Their own drivers were parked at the curve, waiting for them to be brought home.

"Idiot." — huffed Chloé. It was a tone she hardly used on him.

He blinked up at her, clearly caught off-guard by her anger. They have been sitting at the steps of the school in silence for a while now. 

“W-what?”

Her jaw tightens and she straightens up, mouth open and eyes flashing.

“Are you serious? I just can't believe-ugh! You are a total idiot,” Chloé repeated again as if that in itself was enough.

Unexpectedly, she started smacking his arm. And again. And again.

“Ouch." Adrien wince in pain. "Okay. Okay! I get it!!!"

She relented.

Adrien rubbed his sore arm and give Chloé a slight glare.

"Geeze, what do you think you were doing-!? Huh?”

Chloé pointed her manicured finger at his face, cutting off any further and all of his future complaints.

“You better listen and listen good, because I’m only going to say this one!” She said out loud and then took a big gulp of air, “You need this. Marinette was the best thing you ever had. She opened you up when everyone else couldn’t. Got you to laugh and act like your old self again. Your _real_ self. The self that wasn’t so lame. It was the most alive I've seen you in years. You owe her this much to read the letter she gave you.”

Adrien stared at his childhood friend, slight awe at her outburst. Being childhood friends, Chloé and him knew their ins and out, what ticks and not ticks them, and so rarely have disagreements. Seeing her riled up was a surprise.

“And.. And… And don't go thinking you can ever be alone!” She practically screamed as if that was the only way the message would get through to his thick skull.

“Don’t close yourself again...” She quietly trailed off.

Chloé dropped her arms to the side. 

“I am here." Then she huffed and grumbled, turning her back to him, "And I have to admit it, but so are Nino and Alya too.”

The girl stomped off without another word. She didn’t even bother to wait for his reaction.

Adrien could only watch as Chloé disappeared with Sabrina, who had waited around the corner. Sabrina politely waved to him before she closely followed Chloé to her car.

He snapped out of his daze and directed his gaze to the aforementioned pink letter. For a while, he mulled over Chloe’s words. How important Marinette was to him.

A second pass then it turned into three, then five before Adrien decided to turn over the letter and opened it.

He was surprised by the length. It was several paragraphs long. Much longer than any of his friend's letters.

The letter started with " _Dear Adrien Agreste_ ,"

_You’re a mess, you know that? You’re meek, and a quitter, and neurotic. There are a lot of things I want to say about you. A lot of things._

_Perhaps the best way to start is how we first met. You see, we met before. A long time ago._

_I don't blame you for forgetting. I was five years old. It was at a recital for the piano school I went with my parents. You were one of the performers._

_You were a real dork even back then. Imagine, a little boy in front of a giant piano that was a hundred times his size. You march out there on that stage with such a cute determined face too, and then made us all laugh by knocking over the bench. But with the first note you played, the world became colorful. It sparkled. It was like you found a deluxe box of crayons on the keys, and tossed them everywhere. You even made a girl next to me bawl her eyes out._

_And now you’re gonna give it up? Like you never played in the first place? I had always wanted to be a fashion designer, you know? It was a childhood dream of mine. I had always admired your father's work. But hearing you on that day changed my life. It made me want to be a musician instead. You inspired me. What do you think of that?_

For the first time all day, Adrien can feel a genuine smile working its way onto his face.

_When I found out we were at the same collège school, I was thrilled! But how was I supposed to meet you, though?_ _Stalk you in the halls ‘til you notice me?_

_In the end, all I could do was watch you, Alya, Nino, and Chloé from afar. You were friends, and I was some stranger. It wasn’t my place to barge in, so I didn’t._

_I had surgery as a little kid, but I’ve never been totally well. After a bad fall when I was twelve, I was in the hospital a bunch. Those hospitals stays got longer, bit by bit. I was hardly ever at school by then. Nobody said how sick I was exactly, but I knew it was bad._

_Then one night, I saw my mama and papa crying down in the lounge when they thought I was asleep. That’s when I knew I didn’t have much time._

_So, I made a choice:_

_I ran. And I didn’t look back!_

_I started living life exactly how I wanted, so I wouldn’t be all mopey in heaven. You’ll be surprised but I was actually a really shy person. I had low self-esteem, but that didn’t stop me from playing the music the way I like. I let my hair down too. Figuratively and literally. I bet you wouldn't even recognize me. Tried eating a whole cake by myself too, because why not? Bad idea though. I wouldn't advise you to try._

_And then…I told one single lie._

_Are you ready for it? Here it comes: “Marinette likes Nino!”_

Adrien blinked in surprise, thinking that he misread those words.

_Surprised?_

_When Nino confessed to me, I felt guilty turning him down. He is sweet, but I am afraid I am not the girl he is after. Do you think Alya and him are a good match? Please help them realize that. God forbid the two never realized it without some help._

_I am grateful I told that lie._ _After all, Adrien, that lie brought us together. I'm happy we got to become friends._

_You were different than I’d imagined: passive and pessimistic. And yet you were gentle, no surprise there._

_I could never understand how Chloé and you are friends. You’re both total opposites! But she really treasures you. She once told me that… she gets hurt seeing you close in yourself from the world. You seem to only live your life halfway. I think everything since your mom disappeared, you had been trapped with nowhere to go. Your tactic is to look away and stay quiet, waiting for problems to disappear. Waiting for yourself to disappear..._

_I have a theory. Do you want to hear?_

_The real Adrien had receded inward, leaving only a fake image behind. You distanced yourself from emotional connection because that Adrien is actually a fake. You were forced to be pretty. You may be smiling, but that smile is awkward. You avoid direct eye contact because you are afraid of revealing your true self._

_You hated yourself or at least hate the person you’ve become. You felt like you have to be that person. You are convinced that it is who you are and cannot do anything about it. Adrien has to be a person everyone proceeds him as. The piano was your creative outlet. You were able to express yourself freely without the pressure of society and those around you. But in your depressed state, you convinced yourself that you were unskilful and you are just embarrassing yourself. To think otherwise is foolhardy._

_I understand because I'm a musician! Just like you._

But Adrien was a guy who hurled his music sheet away. He doesn't deserve to be a performer.

_And yet, you picked it up again… and you sit before that score._

The letter read back as if Marinette had already predicted his answer. As if she was there beside him to fight back all his negative thoughts.

_I understand you because I know._

_I know what it feels like to create something. I know what it is like to try to reach a foolish dream. I know the embarrassment that comes with putting yourself out there. Creation is an embarrassment process, and dreams are embarrassing as well. You can't help that. But, at least it is not something that you should belittle yourself over. Don't hide your passion. Don't throw away what fulfills you._

_The truth is that you hate yourself. In trying to detach yourself, you learn to avoid conflict and pain by looking down. Ears plugged and eyes averted away. You resent that doll-like treatment, but you also don't try to distance yourself. You don't play it down. You are compliance with your role. That hole existence eventually took away that one outlet that you are comfortable expressing yourself through. As you come to hate yourself more and more, that passion began to slip away. Locked away that no one can find it. Don't let people tell you that your dream doesn't matter, but even more important, don't let yourself think that. In choosing to shed your defense, you will put yourself out there. You will face pain, you will face heartbreak, and all the conflict you are trying to run away from. But you will also find yourself. That person whoever Adrien Agreste is._

_You are not your mother's shadow of expectations. You are not your father. You are you. You are Adrien. Just Adrien. Dorky and a mess, maybe. You also tell terrible jokes! You are frustratingly perfect. You are a complete showoff._

_Yet, you are so kind and sweet._

_I am not as talented as you. I can’t compete at the same level as you who can play a sheet of music so accurate and so flawless, but that is okay. It’s my own sound that I want to give to others, that I want to let ring. I want it to linger in people’s hearts after they hear it. That's my reason for existing. This summer, if the two of us come together, I believe we can do that. I want to play my heart out. And then I want to laugh with you._

_We are only 15, you know! Let's pull out all the stops, and drive right in!_

_You better not hold back too because I won’t. Those people can’t do anything about it but look at us and listen. I want those people who've heard us to never forget it._

_Every day is a symphony to me._

_A beautiful sound that is ever so changing._

_A melody no one can play alone._

_All of our emotions form this symphony._

_Don’t you know you have a little magic in you?_

_It wipes away the monochrome hue._

_And fills this world with color when you laugh beside me._

_Hey, let’s go and make the most of today!_

_Our time is precious, and I wanna spend it all with you._

_I remember how we laughed – It always makes me smile._

_I wish I could recall what had made us laugh at all. Was it when you help me chase that ladybug, so I can grant my wish? When we hid from your guardians and thought ourselves as clever? Or is it that time when we play in front of those kids at the park?_

_How I miss the magic of those ordinary days._

_I just really wish that you were here._

_I just really wish that you were here to compose another memory with me._

_Our symphony._

_Each moment is a picture frame to me..._

_I'm holding on, so no single shot will ever fade. Holding every part deep within my heart._

_You must think I’m silly, finding wonders in the everyday things around us, things I saw and did with you._

Adrien felt the corner of the letter slightly crumbled under her admission.

He never thought those moments as silly. In fact, he also wishes those exact same things.

_What about you?_

What about him?

_Was I able to live inside someone's heart?_

Yes, you were. He answered, but knew Marinette can't hear. He prayed, though. So so very hard.

_Was I able to live inside your heart?_

Adrien laughed. She pretty much barged right in.

_Do you think you'll remember me at least a little?_

Adrien could never forget her. If he did, Marinette would probably come back to haunt him.

_You'd better not hit "reset!"_

As if he ever would.

_Don't forget me, okay?_

He won't.

_That's a promise, okay?_

He promised.

_I'm glad it's you, after all._

_Will I reach you?_

_I hope I can reach you._

_Here’s the truth, Adrien:_

_I love you!_

_I love you!_

_And if you didn’t get that the first or second time, I love you! I’ve always loved you!_

_Thank you._

Adrien rereads those words two, three, four times, until her “I love you” sinks in and the knot in his chest disintegrates. She loved him, she loved him, and now it’s too late to tell her he loved her, too. 

He cradled the letter to his chest and laughed out loud.

Adrien couldn't believe she wrote that. He should thank her. For saving him. For bringing colors in his black and white world. 

And all of this started with one beautiful simple lie. 

**Author's Note:**

> Link to picture post:
> 
> [ https://peppylongstocking.tumblr.com/post/189652774688/ao-httpsarchiveofourownorgworks21783727](https://peppylongstocking.tumblr.com/post/189652774688/ao-httpsarchiveofourownorgworks21783727)


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